I realized the other day I was a complete robot. I mean, I follow every word one person says, he says "Actually the sky is pink." I'd be like, "Really?! Wow! I have to tell all my friends!" Without even questioning him. When he wasn't around I was depressed, loathing, hopeless while damning the emptiness where god didn't exist and now I am a Christian again, rocking out to Christian rock while he does the laundry.

Should I look up to him so much? I mean, it's not very good. Everyone is wrong sometimes. What happens when he is wrong, even though I've never heard of him being trully wrong in anything important. I want to move with my brother and my niece to Ashland, what if I become a better person for doing so?

I never see my friend, once ever three weeks and everyone is still so busy. Lara has many friends, she's lucky, people WANT to hang out with her. Emily has loads of friends, and a boy friend, and those are the only two friends I see now. I haven't spoken to Brit in a long while, and I doubt she'd notice if I moved.

MY god, was this an actual meaningful journal from me?
Gasp.